


Sticks and stones may break my bones

by TheMousePrince



Series: A Series of Season 4 Fix-Its [2]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Conflict Resolution, Fix-It, Homophobia, M/M, Nonbinary Mikael, Slurs, and letting them rot until everyone gets hurt, i made them talk, instead of doing that thing of assuming shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 11:47:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15072500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMousePrince/pseuds/TheMousePrince
Summary: ...and words will always hurt me.The SYNG fight as I wished it would have happened. Where Even doesn't leave Sana standing there, thinking she's the reason Isak is bleeding, thinking that her own brother is homophobic.Sana deserved better.





	Sticks and stones may break my bones

It’s not like someone punched his guts and, with it, the air out of his lungs.

To lose your breath, you have to have breath to begin with.

But as Even sees Elias step inside the karaoke bar with the rest of the squad ( _MikaelMikaelMikael_ ), he finds himself gasping for air, wondering if the Earth finally got sucked into a black hole ( _if it didn't, it should, like, right now please_ ).

Even blinks, and Mikael is gone. Elias has grabbed Yousef’s arm and they are staring at Even. Mutasim and Adam's presence floating around them. It's like Even is taking a macrophotograph of the group. With the focus on Yousef and Elias. Mutasim and Adam become splashes of colour in the background.

  


Even has run the scenario in his head so many times he knows it by heart. He knows not only all the lines, but also their timing; when the camera should pan out or close in; when a character should step into focus; when another should be partially cut out of the frame, only leaving a piece of an ear or a lifted corner of a mouth in to accentuate a sentiment.

When it should fade to black.

  


Even would be on the bench where he and Isak had first shared a joint. He would be doodling in his green sketchbook when the squad walked by him (on their way to pick up Sana, maybe, for a game of basketball). They wouldn’t see him at first but he would, giving him some seconds to somewhat prepare.

He would feel warm and numb in the face as his heart races. He would close his sketchbook and get up on rubber hose legs and it would remind him of when he was a child and his limbs grew at different rates, making him break lamps and knock his joints against tables and wall corners; making him a danger to himself and others ( _actually,_ _not much had changed since then ha!_ ).

He would walk towards the squad.

Mikael would sense him and turn around. Even would stop. Time would too.

“Even—”

“I’m sorry,” he'd blurt out.

Mikael’s expression would go from surprise to kindness.

“Don’t be.”

The rest of the squad would have turned around by now and would be standing there, hesitant.

Until Elias opened his mouth.

“Well you look like shit.”

As if on cue, Mutta would add, “Exactly what I kept saying: without us, Even forgets how to dress.”

The terror in Even’s stomach would fade as he replied, “Au contraire, I look better than ever now that I don’t have your dank asses bringing me down.”

The squad would erupt in oooooooooooooooooooooo’s and playful invectives.

“ _ Au contraire _ , listen to his posh ass, thinks he’s better than us now!”

“He really shouldn’t though, he’s not in Bakka anymore.”

“Yeah, we’re the real elites here, brother! No fancy words can change that.”

“The 19th century speech goes with his clothes tho. At least he hasn’t forgotten how to coordinate.”

And they would keep on bantering like nothing had ever happened.  
Eventually Sana would join them and Even would worry for a second that she would break the charm, remind them he was never one of the swans but a lame duck all along.

But she  wouldn't . She' d effortlessly join  in on  the banter and, later, when Even  would  catch her eyes and start mouthing  _ thank you _ , she' d wave it away.  _ Nonsense. I’m not doing you a favour.  _ _ T _ _ hey aren’t  _ _ either _ _. You' _ _ ve _ _ always belonged. You never really left _

Later, he would introduce the squad to Isak and they would break the ice with a game of FIFA.

  


_ And they would live happily ever after. _

  


Isak is standing next to him now and leans in closer to the mic.

"Nothing to kill or die for..."

People are watching.  H ow long has he been mute  for ? How  _ crazy _ did he look?

He doesn't know how he finishes the song.  Just l ike when  he would come back home from Nissen  and knew the way so  well  his mind  logged off and he would find himself in his flat, trying to remember how he got  t here and if he looked both way before crossing  or threw himself mindlessly into traffic, miraculously surviving like some  real life  Marla Singer .   
Isak is smiling at him, his hand  gently  squeezing his elbow.

"Do you need to get some air?"

Even nods and, just like that, they're outside of SYNG. Even is shaking despite the spring weather.

"Do you have your meds with you?"

Even swats at the question like at an annoying fly getting too close to his face. Isak frowns. "Right, sorry. Not everything needs meds." Isak takes Even's hand. "I love you."

Even barely hears him because, a few meters away, Mikael is staring at them.

Even raises his hand and waves timidly, immediately hating himself for it;  this was the person he nearly killed himself over  before he changed school  ( and phone number ) . A wave now is awkward at best, insulting at worst.   
But M ikael waves  back.

And Even's heart is jumping up to his ears, the far away singing replaced by a muffled bass sound. His belly is lifting as if he was on a rollercoaster. Not the lift of the drop but the lift of the up, of the wheels squeaking gently as you are pushed away from the ground slowly. He's high. But a manageable kind of high. The perfect soft kind of high.

H e takes a step  towards a smiling Mikael.

"Hey, it's that faggot!"

Fear so strong it makes his skin hurt. He is turned into lanky deer in homophobic headlights.

And the headlights are making their way to him.

Mikael seems to have morphed into a deer too. His eyes are so wide, Even wonders if his own are too. He can't tell because he can't feel his body anymore.

"Wanna sing me and my buddies a song too?" the guy snicker, waving at the five other guys clumped next to him.

_It's not funny._ _This isn't funny. They aren't funny. Sticks and stone_ _s may break my bones..._

_And words will always hurt me._

"What the fuck did you say?"

_Isak._ Even is a mixture of pride, love, and despair. _Thank you for stepping up when I can't. Thank you for being at my side. You're so amazing. I don't deserve you. You're so amazing. My knight in_ _snapback (that could make a good rap)_ _. My knight w_ _ho_ _might get slain in battle right now. For stupid me. Why did I pick_ _a_ _John Lennon_ _song_ _? Why not something more viril, aggressive like...Kendrick?_

He doesn't like thinking about Kendrick this way. About anyone this way.

"I asked your _boyfriend_ if he wanted to sing us a song. What? Is it a crime to think he has such a _pretty_ voice?"

Even hates himself from feeling insulted, so an inside voice reminds him it's not _what_ the man says, it's _how_ he says it that makes his face burn and his skin sting.  
_I'd rather he punch me. Silently._

_No. I'd rather he be punched._

It's as if God heard him.

And as He raises a gust of wind that blows the different shades of blonde hair of the group of homophobes backwards, God propels Isak forward.  
Even sees all the ways this could ( _will_ ) go wrong or right ( _won't_ ) flash before his eyes, like his own movie trailer.

In one clip, the men are surrounding Isak's body curled up in a ball on the ground, kicking wildly. All we see of Isak are a few quick close-up shots of his increasingly bleeding and swollen face.

In another, Even runs towards the bullies and drops to his left side just before impact as he propels his right leg in an arcing motion, making the men topple like bowling pins. Isak then rests his foot on the "chief bully's" throat as Even gets up and brushes his trousers with his hands. "What was that?" Isak sarcastically asks the man wimpering under his shoe.

In the last clip in the montage, Isak throws a punch that lands just at the left of the man's head as he dodges it. The man then headbutts Isak who is knocked back and bumps into Even who snaps back to reality just in time to catch him.

As he realises this last part of the trailer is unfortunately real, Elias jumps into frame and punches the bully square in the jaw.

In the blink of an eye, Elias is joined by Adam and Mutta. All punching and shoving and kicking widly at the group of white boys who soon realise that that it might be time for them to scram.

All this time believing the boys would fight him if he ever talked to them again, when in reality ( _not in the little movies I make in my head_ ) they would have fought _for_ him.

Mikael's hand is on Isak's shoulder.

"Are you O.K.?"

Even first sees the cogs in Isak's head click together before he notices the blood dripping from his lover's nose. Isak slightly turns his head towards him, eyebrows knitted together. Even tries to communicate by telepathy with him. If there is such a thing as telepathy, it needs to work _now_.  
Or forever hold its piece.

_I will explain later. Please do not question it. Please do not question them. Please be nice. Please let me tend to your wounds. Please let me bring you home._

"Get the fuck away from them!"

Jonas and Mahdi are at Even's sides now. But not to comfort Isak.

Magnus catches up with them and without even a glance at Isak, pushes Mikael away.

Elias jumps between them.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

_I was wrong_ , Even thinks. _This isn't a film, or a documentary, or_ _even_ _reality._ _This is a nightmare, and if I_ _concentrate hard_ _enough I will wake up from it._ But his brain is working way too fast to focus, and a thousand scenarios of what he should do right now to defuse the situation rush to his head and paralyse him.

Isak's whine pulls Even back from his stunned panic and grounds him.  
Blood is splattered across most of Isak's face now. It should freak Even out but, instead, he finds the picture almost beautiful. It's like Isak's nose birthed a galaxy of crimsons and pinks.  
Isak is staring at his stained hand, unaware of the red stars now dripping along the side of his wrist.

Even doesn't want Isak to freak out. Even needs to ground him just like he has grounded him countless times before ( _hell, thirty seconds ago even_ ). He bends over and examines Isak's nose, his large hands wrapped around Isak's shoulders.

From one second to the next, it seems that the quiet in Even's mind has spread to his surroundings. He becomes acutely aware that, a second ago, there were people screaming around himand that he now was struggling to hear anything but Isak's ragged breathing. It was like turning off a computer you thought silent, only to realise how loud it was only once it was off and you finally experienced true silence.  
Sana has replaced Mikael at Isak's side. She reaches for his face. Even sees Isak repress a wince when her fingers graze his nose and it makes him feel better. If Isak has enough energy to try to pretend he's _above_ pain, then he'll be fine.

"We have to go to the E.R.," Even says. He looks at Sana's frown. "He'll be O.K.," he adds.

"What happened?" Sana asks, pointing her eyes at the ground, voice shaking. Even's follows her gaze to her now bloodied hands. He wishes he could wipe the blood clean off of Isak's face and Sana's hands.  
Off of the face of the Earth.

"Your brother happened," Jonas says just before shouting in surprise when Even slaps the back of his head, hard.

_Oh yeah...where is Elias?_ Even looks around and spots Yousef standing on the stairs leading to SYNG. When they lock eyes, Yousef takes a step forward and purses his lips. He looks back and Even follows his gaze to the Bakka boys walking away. Elias' hand on Mikael's shoulder.  
Yousef and Even look back at each other.

Jonas grabs Even's arm.

"Earth to Even! I asked you what was that about, bro?" Jonas rubs his head. "That really hurts...," he mumbles.

"That was about you being fucking rude to Sana. Besides," Even turns back to his best friend and presses her hands in his, "Elias helped. Actually."

Sana looks up at Even, the confusion in her eyes holding back the tears. "What?"

"He kicked the shit out of them," Isak says, his voice cracking.

"Out of who?" Magnus asks but Even and Isak ignore him.

"Elias didn't do this to Isak, Sana. Some scumbags did," Even says.

"Some fucking homophobes," Isak adds. "Sana's brother and his friends kicked their asses back to hell!" Isak has never met the Bakka boys until a minute ago, and yet he looks like a proud dad reminiscing about his child's accomplishments.  
A proud dad with a cold, who's breathing only through his mouth.

"What?," Jonas asks, his hand stilling on his head.

"They were helping, bro," Isak says.

Jonas combs his thick hair with his fingers and grabs a hold of a couple of strands.

"Fuck," Mahdi says.

"We didn't know," Magnus says.

"You assumed," Sana says, not looking at any of them. Even sees her lips tighten. "I need to go find Elias."

She starts to leave but Even grabs her elbow.

"Sana, tell him..." He needs to find the right words. "Tell him that we're sorry, that I'm sorry, and, um, that-—" He's never been less eloquent. Today's emotions are finally letting go of his nerves and are now rising to his throat, strangling him. He tries to take a deep breath in.

"I don't know."

_Wow. Such intelligent. Very words._

Sana gently grabs the hand he rested on her elbow but doesn't move it away.

"We'll talk later, Even, O.K.?"

"Thank you."

Sana smiles softly at him and he lets go of her elbow. She gives one last look to Isak who is now staring at the blood eating the white of his varsity jacket's cuff. Even thinks he can hear Sana's jaws clench.

"Let's get you to the hospital," Even says, wrapping his arm around Isak. Jonas, Mahdi, and Magnus follow silently, heads low.

Even looks back and past the boys.

The Bakka crew is getting smaller and smaller in the distance. Even thinks he can see Mikael turn around and look at him.

He feels dizzy with the number of things he wishes he could say to Mikael right now.

His eyes lower and fall on a bloody milky way, adorning the road a couple of meters back. Next to it, shining in the setting sunlight, a small puddle of spit.

**Author's Note:**

> I spent way too long on this and I will never be satisfied with it but sometimes you just need to finish something, right? The idea for this was born out of the theories I had of what had happened exactly at SYNG, when we were left with a ton of questions and angst during the hiatus between episode 5 and 6. The only sense I could make of it was that it wasn't any of the Bakka boys who'd punched Isak (because why would they?) but a bunch of homophobic white boys. I could see Isak just charging head first (and I was canonically right, since he did just that in the EVEN clip later in the season) and Jonas and co. getting in too late, assuming what Julie wanted us to assume. Showing their and our prejudices.  
> But that didn't happen, and I was left with the need to rewrite it.
> 
> Anyway.  
> As always, constructive criticism is welcome and you can find me on tumblr at [monstermonstre](http://monstermonstre.tumblr.com).


End file.
